I had vowed to write here more often, so here I am. My new resolutions went really well for the first day and I then got sidetracked by the whole football playoff frenzy. But it really means a lot to me so I’m gonna get up a keep trying.

I’ve been rooting for the Saints all season long, so their playoff game was definitely one I couldn’t miss. It’s actually a funny story. I became good friends with a guy that worked out at my gym. He’s a hardcore football fan and everyone in his family had to choose a football team when they were young and had to stick with it their whole life. So at the beginning of the season he forced me to pick a team. My biggest deciding factor was a team whose jersey I wouldn’t mind wearing since some of the NFL teams have weird colors. My choice boiled down to the San Diego Chargers and the New Orleans Saints and because I’m a huge jazz fan I went with the Saints. So here you have it. I’m now a Saints fan for life.

However, during the Saints game yesterday I got a phone call from a girl I had seen a couple times which I really, really, REALLY liked. She ended up telling me that she wasn’t into me. It basically ruined the whole game for me. I’ve never been a very confident guy around girls. I’ve been diagnosed with social phobia plus I’ve never really had a girlfriend. The thing is, in the past few months, I’ve changed A LOT. I’ve been using social medias to promote my website and I’ve been interacting with a lot of people I’ve been admiring for years. Turns out they also really look up to me, so I’ve had a huge confidence boost. This would actually make a really interesting research: conquering social phobia through social medias. In any case, for the first time in my life, I really love myself and who I am. I believe this has really transcended to all aspects of my life including girls. So when Cora told me that she wasn’t interested in me, it came as a real blow. All my insecurities and my past came back to me all at once. The Saints won, but I didn’t really care anymore. I felt miserable. I felt like no one would ever love me. I felt worthless.

Today, I woke up feeling great. I realized that I’m still the person I was before Cora told me she wasn’t into me. It sucks but it’s something that happens. Just like there are girls who I’m not attracted to. But this is really a HUGE breakthrough for me. Normally, I would have felt like shit for several weeks. Plus the Saints won! So I’m happy and I think I’ve made a lot of progress. I’m sure I’ll find the right girl for me. And probably sooner than I think…

I didn’t do much today, which is REALLY something I need to work on. I’m not hoping that tomorrow will be a better day. I KNOW tomorrow will be a better day. In any case, one of the things I did was begin to read Nelson Mandela’s autobiography. Up to now it’s been about his very early childhood. The book has been a HUGE culture shock. Mandela basically grew up in a hut in a tiny village in South Africa. He said that he started guarding cattle and sheep at the age of 5 and talks of the many chores he had to do for his family. The stuff I read felt like it was coming out the script of a movie. You never stop to think that people on earth are living these kinds of lives. I felt so grateful for who I was and the opportunities I was given throughout my life. It really put things back into perspective. I realize that I need to seize the opportunities that were given to me and truly make the most of them. I can’t keep wasting my life like I have done in the past. I don’t know exactly were this will take me, but all I want is to be proud of myself at the end of each and every day. This is not something that occurs regularly, but it’s up to me, and only me, to make sure it does more often.

On a lighter note, for the first time in my life I didn’t buy Tide, but instead I bought eco-friendly laundry detergent (whatever that means…). The packaging says EcoLogo certified and CO2 neutral. Apparently EcoLogo is an Environment Canada Program, so this doesn’t look like greenwashing. The weird thing is that it’s also a Vegan product. I really hadn’t planned on eating any of it…

Wow. It’s been almost a month since I’ve posted here. Not very proud of myself. I’ve been thinking a lot about these issues, but just haven’t taken the time to write anything. I’ve probably forgot several things I wanted to talk about by now. Things really aren’t going like they should be. I’ve found myself to be in a tailspin of sorts. I can either address the situation or crash.

This situation reminds me of Robert Frost’s The Road Not Taken.

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

I now have a choice to make. I can either take the easy road; the road that I know well. I’ve traveled it before and I know where it leads. This road is filled with stress, depression, procrastination, substance abuse and isn’t likely to lead me anywhere good. The thing is that this road is very flat without any obstacles and I’ve gotten used to walking it by now. The other road is very steep and treacherous, but leads to an amazing and rewarding life. This is the road of responsibility, organization, perseverance and commitment. I’ve tried it before but I always seemed to give up after a few steps. It seemed so hard and the reward so far away. But I really want my life to change. I see a lot of wasted potential in myself. I want to change that. This blog started off as a school project, but it has actually grown into a very useful tool for me. For this reason, I have decided to keep posting here even after I hand in this project to my professor.

This week, I’m trying a new strategy to try to improve my life. Every night, I write up a schedule for my next day. If I do this, I put $1 in a jar. The next day, if I accomplish 50% of this schedule, I put an extra $2 in the jar. This percentage is expected to increase over time. In addition, I also have a point system where every time I start a task on my list I get a point and every time I postpone a task on my list, I lose 2 points. When I have a total of 10 points I put an extra $1 in the jar and if I come to -10 points, I have to take out $1 from the jar. The money from this jar is to be used for a significant purchase. Most likely a camera or a trip. Today is the first day that I am trying this new system and it is working very well up to now. I have already done some tasks which I have been putting off for several weeks. It’s never too late to change.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

So I’ve been trying to favor organic, fair-trade and eco-friendly products since beginning this project. Here are the results from my last grocery.

• Organic Romaine Lettuce
• Tomatoes from Canada instead of Mexico
• Kashi Organic Berries and Flakes Cereals
• Organic & Fair-trade Coffee (for which I specifically had to buy a coffee grinder)
• Organic Pasta & Pasta Sauce
• Free-run Chicken Eggs
• Wild-caught Smoked Salmon

I’ve recently noticed little organic sections sprouting in the different aisles of my local Metro grocery store, which is pretty neat. For me, fair-trade is even more important than organic. I think it’s the second time ever that I switch brands of coffee. The first time was because LavAzza coffee is way cheaper than Illy. Like I said they only had organic and fair-trade coffee in whole grains, so I had to shell out $30 for a coffee grinder. The first cup of coffee I made was DIGUSTING. My first thought was: “What did I get myself into?”. Actually turns out that the new coffee is WAY stronger than the one I was using before  so I can now use 1/4 of the amount I was using per cup. The free-range eggs and the wild-caught salmon are also pretty important to me. Actually, in Vermont, where my mom lives, the supermarket labels whether each fish is wild-caught or not. So I’ve been making sure we were buying wild-caught fish! Organic really comes last in my list of priorities. I haven’t really noticed that any of the food tasted better, but if we can try to use less chemicals to grow food than it’s worth it.

I’m also getting a new laptop for Christmas. I decided to buy a Sony Vaio. It has nothing to do with my purchasing decision but turns out Sony is try to be Greener (or at least they are trying to appear so). Some of the eco-features of my laptop include:

• Energy Star® 5.0: ENERGY STAR® 5.0 qualification: means that this computer meets strict energy efficiency guidelines set by the Environmental Protection Agency and the US Department of Energy.  By operating more efficiently, this computer not only helps conserve power, but ultimately helps reduce the emissions of greenhouse gases by lessening the demand on power generation.
• Power Management settings: All VAIO® computers let you easily manage the energy efficiency of your PC via the Power Management settings in the VAIO Control Center.  A menu of several power options that relate directly to operating efficiency, such as LCD brightness, battery life output, sleep/hibernation settings, and more, allows you to optimize your PC’s power consumption.
• EPEAT™ Silver Registered: EPEAT™, or the Electronic Products Environmental Assessment Tool, enables people to evaluate electronics products by seeing how they are measured against 51 environmental standards.  In addition to other criterion, these standards cover such areas as: energy conservation, reduction of environmentally sensitive materials, use of recycled content in packaging, end of life management. Products are registered according to the number of criteria they satisfy.  The rankings are Bronze, Silver and Gold.
• Sony Take Back recycling program: The Sony Take Back recycling program allows users to recycle Sony electronics products, including packaging, in an environmentally sound manner at no charge. There are 130 drop off centers located throughout the US.  Since its inception in 2000, the program has collected over 14,900,000 lbs of electronics and has recycled them responsibly.
• Rechargeable battery recycling program: In addition to our Take Back recycling program, we also make recycling your old Sony rechargeable batteries easy.  Simply drop them off at a Sony Style store near you and we will recycle them in an environmentally responsible manner. To support this effort, in early 2008, we began introducing dedicated battery recycling bags with some of our VAIO® PCs to encourage higher recycling rates.
• Sony Trade-in program: The Sony Trade-in program allows you to trade in your old eligible electronics to receive credit towards a new Sony product. As part of the program, Sony will arrange for the recycling of your old product in an environmentally responsible manner.
• RoHS compliant: All VAIO® PCs are EU RoHS (Restriction of Hazardous Substances) Directive compliant. The EU RoHS Directive restricts the use of certain substances, such as lead and mercury, to minimum levels in electronics products. By limiting the use of hazardous substances, RoHS aims not only to help prevent harmful materials from leaching into our ecosystems but also helps minimize potential exposure to these substances and promotes easier recycling at the end of a product’s lifecycle.
• PVC-free casing and packaging: Sony has eliminated polyvinyl chloride (PVC) from the exterior product casings and packaging of all VAIO® computers.  PVC contains various chemical substances, such as plasticizers and stabilizers, that could pose a risk to the environment as well as human health if not disposed of properly.
• Recycled content in packaging: This VAIO® PC utilizes 95% post-consumer recycled content in its corrugated cardboard packaging (percentage varies depending on manufacturing location).
• Recycled content utilized in Sony in-box documentation: The printed documentation created by Sony that comes with new VAIO® PCs, such as the Quick-start guide, warranty card and instruction manual (if included), utilize 85% post-consumer recycled content.

I also got an iPhone from my grandparents for Christmas. I was browsing online through iPhone accessories when I came accross a solar powered iPhone charger by Solio. My first reaction was that it was a really cool accessory. I figured I could charge my iPhone solely with solar power. It probably wouldn’t  save tons of electricity but it’s a start. But as I thought more about it, I’m not convince the solar charger really is the most eco-friendly solution. The Waste = Food documentary really opened my eyes. The way I see it, the solar charger will eventually end up in a landfill. On the other hand, electricity in Quebec is hydro powered. So I might as well charge my iPhone at home.

Finally, I just came back from the Burton store, in Vermont, where I bought a sweatshirt and a T-Shirt by a brand called Habitat. I didn’t know of it before buying the clothes, but their logo with 3 tree leaves just screamed “eco-friendly brand”. I was intrigued so I looked at the tag on the 2 pieces of clothing. The hoodie says “Made in China” while the T-Shirt says “Assemble in Mexico with US Fabric”. So it doesn’t look like the hoodie has anything special in terms of carbon footprint. Looks like the T-Shirt is trying to make an effort. However, the real question is where are the materials used to make the T-Shirt coming from. If that “US Fabric” is made from Chinese cotton, then it’s not really eco-friendly. In any case, I had a look at the company’s website as soon as I got home. Turns out Habitat is a skateboarding company which was recently purchased by Burton. They differentiate themselves from other companies in that they offer Eco products including Bamboo Ply skateboards, Hemp Ply skateboards, Cork Ply cruisers and Certified Organic Cotton T-Shirts. They also use Water Based Glue, Ink and Clear Coat on some of their skateboards. Although they do offer some Organic clothing, not all their clothes are organic and turns out that the ones I purchased are not. So even if the brand is kinda deceptive at the moment (because some of their products are eco-friendly, but not all of them) this is a company to keep watching. I’m sure they are trying to make their way towards 100% eco-friendliness.

OUT of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishment the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley

Abyss
Pronunciation: \ə-ˈbis, a- also ˈa-(ˌ)bis\
Etymology: Middle English abissus, from Late Latin abyssus, from Greek abyssos, from abyssos, adjective, bottomless, froma- + byssos depth; perhaps akin to Greek bathys deep
1 : the bottomless gulf, pit, or chaos of the old cosmogonies
2 a : an immeasurably deep gulf or great space b : intellectual or moral depths

I haven’t written a post in a long time. Until recently, things haven’t been going very well. I hadn’t intended on this blog ever getting this dramatic, but I feel like I need a place to communicate the struggles which I am faced with. I started my BCom in 2005. I withdrew from my first semester due to a severe depression triggered by intense procrastination. I then withdrew from my second semester because of substance abuse. I’m an addict. I dropped out of school. Lost all support and financing from my family. Found an apartment and a job. Things just kept worsening until, I finally agreed to enter rehab. I spent 7 weeks there. I came out a new man. It was truly the best thing that ever happened to me. I built back trust with my family. I took some time to get better. I got a new apartment and a good job, but my goal was always to go back to University. I then returned to school for all the wrong reasons. I felt I had to prove to myself that I could overcome the one thing I believed I had failed at. I should have gone to culinary school instead, which was something I truly was interested in. My journey back to University is truly a difficult one. I constantly have to deal with depression and important procrastination problems. I didn’t do any work for the whole second half of my first semester and then had to catch up on everything the week before all my finals. It was hell. Pretty much the same thing happened the next semester. All through this hellish process, I still managed to obtain a cumulative GPA of 3.92. I still don’t know how I did it. This semester started off just like the other ones. I then had another severe depression halfway through. I just couldn’t deal with going through the same end of term madness once more. The pressure to keep my grades where they were also became unbearable. I had to take three weeks off school and I began a treatment of anti-depressants and anti-psychotics. I also should add that I started drinking again last summer, which has lead to on and off periods of heavy binge drinking. I have been closely followed by a psychologist since coming out of rehab, but the journey back to good mental health has been a very difficult one. All this to say, that I am now coming out of a behavioral relapse. This is why things haven’t been going well. I have hit rock bottom once again. In an odd way, I am proud of myself, because through all these hardships, I have always gotten up and kept trying to better and improve myself. I believe that I have hit rock bottom in order to better leap up towards my objectives. Since coming out of rehab, I have been like a climber in the middle of a crevasse. I’ve been struggling to make it out of the abyss, sometimes making my way up and sometimes falling back down. But I now understand how important it is for me to get out. I stopped monitoring my daily activities because it had become annoying. But as soon as I stopped, things deteriorated severely, while they were slowly improving while I was doing the monitoring. Even though I do not enjoy it, it is truly the one tool that has brought positive changes to my life and if I want to finally conquer these problems I understand that it is imperative that I keep doing it.

I recently saw Invictus. There’s a particular scene in the movie which really made me reflect. It’s when Nelson Mandela brings Francois Pienaar, the captain of the South African rugby team, to his office for tea. Mandala first asks him about his leadership style. He then says that he believes the team lacks inspiration. He says some thing like: “how do you get your men to do things they didn’t think they were capable of?” I feel I have lacked inspiration in my life. Mandala said he turned to other inspirational men, writers and poets during his time in jail, in particular, the poem Invictus by William Ernest Henley. I found a copy of the poem online and I have made a commitment to read it every day as soon as I wake up. I actually put it as my computer background along with a photo of Mandala and a quote from him I found which said “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” Every time I read these words I get filled with hope. It makes me want to surpass myself. It makes me want to become a better man. I began this yesterday and yesterday was by far the best day I had in a long time.

I’ve also been thinking about the last passage from Gay Hendricks’ A Year of Living Consciously which I posted. I think it’s an amazing goal to try to learn as much as we can, everyday of our life. I have so many books at home which I have never read (I know, really not environmentally friendly…).  But I’d like to take this to another level. I’d like to read books that will truly help me become a better person. I want to be inspired to “do things which I didn’t think possible”. My goal is to read the autobiographies of the great men who have made their mark in history or who have made the world a better place. I want to understand what has made them the way they are. (When I say men, it’s obviously both men and women) The first book which I have decided to read is Nelson Mandela’s autobiography, A Long Walk to Freedom. I tried to borrow it at my University’s Library, which is a big deal for me since I NEVER get books at the library (I’m really trying to be more environmentally conscious),  but both copies were out until mid January. So instead, I ordered it on Amazon. My best friend, which is EXTREMELY well-read and knowledgeable, also just suggested that I read Sun Tzu’s The Art of War. He said “I don’t say this to many people, but, as a friend, if there’s one book you absolutely MUST read, it’s The Art of War.” So I’ll read The Art of War while I wait for Mandela’s book.

I haven’t been filled with so much hope in a long time. I really believe that I will finally conquer my demons once and for all. I don’t think it will be easy, but I will persevere.

December 10^th:

• 8:30 to 9: Coffee + Computer
• 9 to 9:30: Breakfast (Eggs + Bacon)
• 9:30 to 10:30: Blog Post*
• 10:30 to 11:30: Facebook
• 11:30 to 1: Schoolwork*
• 1 to 1:30: Lunch (Campbell’s Chunky Soup + Corn Bread + V8)
• 1:30 to 3:30: Schoolwork*
• 3:30 to 5:30: Work on my website
• 5:30 to 7: Blog Post*
• 7 to 8: Computer + TV
• 8 to 8:30: Dinner (Shepherd’s Pie + Corn + Peas)
• 8:30 to 11:30: Computer + TV + Food (Baby Carrots with Ranch dressing + Turkey and Cheese Sandwich + Corn Bread + PB&J + Kashi Granola Bar + Coca-Cola)

Procrastination: 6 hours of schoolwork (Blog Posts and the posts on this blog, which counts as schoolwork) and all items on my procrastination list. I’m satisfied. By comparing with the grades I gave myself the past days, I say that today is a 8/10.

Bed Time: 11:30! More than perfect! 15/10

Wake Up Time: I did put an alarm but it took me half an hour to get. Still good though. 8/10

Diet: I started to get hungry around 10PM. I thought that if I was to eat something then carrots with a little dressing would be acceptable. But once I started, I just couldn’t stop myself. This is going to sound stupid, but it’s really like an addiction. What’s really unfortunate is that there was a period when I was extremely careful about what I ate and when I exercised a lot, so I was able to lose 30 pounds. I still exercise, but I’m not as careful about what I eat. I guess it started off because I realized that losing weight is an extremely long and hard journey. So if you believe that you’ll reach your goal in a long time then pushing it back by one day doesn’t seem like such a big deal. But all these exceptions add up and I’m now gaining weight. I weighed myself today and I’m at 187.5 pounds. That’s the worse it’s been in a long time. Granted I used the scale at my mom’s house and I weighed myself after lunch, but nonetheless, I can’t continue like this. I’ve had self-confidence and depression problems all my life because I never liked the way I looked. In fact, I really can’t remember the last time I was happy with myself physically. I think I owe it to myself to be careful about what I eat. I’ve worked extremely hard in the gym to get where I am today and I shouldn’t be throwing it all away. I think it’s also extremely important for my state of mind, self-confidence and overall happiness that I keep on this path to a healthier life and hopefully a physique I’m happy with. I think one of my problems is that my objectives have been too vague. Therefore, I commit to losing 17.5 pounds by April 1^st. I chose 17.5 pounds because I’d like to weigh 170 pounds and by April 1^st, because there a pool on the roof of my building and I’d like to make the most of it. I didn’t go once this summer, because I’m not comfortable with the way I look. But I still think that I need to break this goal down into smaller pieces to make sure I stay motivated. Basically, I have 3.5 months to lose 17.5 pounds, which makes 5 pounds per month. This means that my first objective is to weigh 182.5 pounds on January 11^th. 5 pounds per month is not an easy goal, but I do believe that I can succeed. To see if I’m on schedule, I’ll weigh myself in two weeks, on December 25^th (odd coincidence). I commit to this. Instead of seeing binging as pushing my goal back by one day, I need to see not binging as getting closer to my goal by one day.

December 9^th:

• 11 to 12: Get up + Breakfast (Coffee + Oatmeal) + Computer
• 12 to 12:30: Important email *
• 12:30 to 2: Schoolwork*
• 2 to 2:45: Lunch (Campbell’s Chunky Soup + V8) + Work on my website
• 2:45 to 5: Schoolwork*
• 5 to 6: Blog post*
• 6 to 7: Dinner (BBQ Chicken + Corn + Peas + Corn bread + Milk)
• 7 to 12:45: Relaxing + Computer + TV

Procrastination: I was able to complete two items from my procrastination list (email & blog post) and I also worked 3 hours and 45 minutes on a paper I desperately need hand-in (also marked with *). Overall, I spent 5:15 of my day doing important things which is better than the previous day, but not quite as good as the day before. 6/10

Bed Time: Again, an improvement from the previous day, but not perfect. I also went to bed late because I was watching TV, but just for the sake of watching something. 8/10

Wake Up Time: Much worse than the previous day. Again, I didn’t put an alarm, so I’m completely guilty. 4/10

Diet: You know what? I’m gonna give myself a 10/10. It wasn’t easy, but I really made the effort not to eat after dinner. I also was very careful about everything I ate throughout the day. Good job!

Other thoughts: The day would have been more productive had I woken up closer to 8. Nonetheless, it’s an improvement from the previous. I’m really proud of myself for not eating in the evening. It was actually pretty hard, but I resisted. Areas to improve are definitely putting an alarm and getting up in the morning, but also trying to do a greater amount of schoolwork during the day.

Learning something new is the bestest thing in the world.
- Andrew Harper, age seven

A Conscious Living Practice for Today: As you go through your activities today, return often to the question “What do I most need to learn right now?” Realize that your journey is not about being right or achieving anything; it is always about learning what most needs to be learned.

Excerpt from A Year of Living Consciously by Gay Hendricks

Find the book at: Amazon.com or at Amazon.ca

December 8^th:

• 9:45 to 11:30: Get up + Coffee + Computer
• 11:30 to 1:45: Breakfast (Omelet with sausage and cheese) + Schoolwork
• 1:45 to 2:30: Wrote email to my professors *
• 2:30 to 4: Lunch (Quizno’s Sub) + Work on my website
• 4 to 4:30: Shower
• 4:30 to 5:30: Groceries
• 5:30 to 6:30: Cooking
• 6:30 to 7:30: Dinner (Shepherd’s Pie + Milk)
• 7:30 to 8:30: Work on the website
• 8:30 to 10:30: DVD
• 10:30 to 1:30: Food (Shepherd’s Pie + Toast + Cereals + Baby Carrots with Ranch Dressing) + TV + Computer

Procrastination: I rate this category on both work accomplished and the items that were done. From now on, items which are on my procrastination list will be marked with a *. So I did one item on my procrastination list which took me 45 minutes and I did schoolwork for 2 hours 15 minutes. I would have to say that this was a very poor day considering the amount of time I spent working on my website, watching TV or browsing the internet. Overall, 3/10.

Bed Time: 1:30 isn’t too bad but it’s later than I would like. Also I stayed up watching TV and wasting time on the computer so it wasn’t really worth it. 6/10.

Wake Up Time: I didn’t put an alarm and I woke up at 9:45. Again, it’s not extremely late, but it’s later than I would like. 6/10.

Diet: TERRIBLE! 2/10. Binged before going to bed which is what I’m trying to work on the most. The rest of the day wasn’t too bad. I was careful with portions and calorie count. However, the Quizno’s Sub wasn’t ideal. On the upside I savored every single bite with immense pleasure, so it was totally worth it! I need to stop binging…

Other thoughts: Most important thing is not to binge at night. What’s worse is that on that day I weighed myself at my mom’s house and I was at 185 pounds. I’m usually closer to 170-175. I also thought I looked terrible in the mirror. In any case, with all that in mind, I still ate before going to bed. I feel disgusting. The second thing I really need to focus on is to make schoolwork more of a priority. I do have important procrastination problems and I put off a lot of things, but that’s why I’m trying to work on it and I need to make more of an effort. Otherwise, I think it’s unacceptable that I spend more time on my website than on schoolwork. Again, I never really was aware of how long I spent on it, but I now need to make sure that the most important activity during my day is catching up on schoolwork.

December 7^th:

• 8 to 10:30: Coffee + Work for my website
• 10:30 to 11: Breakfast (eggs + bacon + milk)
• 11 to 12: Wrote a letter to my school’s administration
• 12 to 2:30: Schoolwork
• 2:30 to 3: Lunch (Tuna Salad + cheese + V8)
• 3 to 6: Schoolwork
• 6 to 6:30: Facebook
• 6:30 to 7: Dinner (Spaghetti + Milk)
• 7 to 12: Relaxing + TV + Computer

Procrastination: For this day, I’ll give myself a 7/10. I did a total of 5 and half hours of schoolwork, which is decent. I also wrote to my school’s administration which is something I have been putting off for a long time.

Bed Time: I actually fell asleep in front of the TV/Computer sometime between 10 and 12 and I then went to bed at 12. So I’ll give myself a 10/10, given that I went to bed by midnight.

Wake Up Time: I woke up at 8, which is my goal, so I’ll give myself a 10/10.

Diet: I give myself a 8/10. Most important of all is the fact that I didn’t binge late in the evening. I was also very careful during the day. Even though my breakfast and lunch don’t seem ideal, I was very careful with portion size and calorie count. I probably ate a little more spaghetti than I should have, but, nonetheless, it was a very good day overall.

Other thoughts: The main thing which I noticed is that it took me 2 and a half hours to write the blog post for my website. It’s actually quite a big part of my day. I’m aware that the feature we do on Mondays is time-consuming, but I never imagined that it took me that long before today. Given that my priority right now is schoolwork, working on the website shouldn’t be the first thing I do in the morning. 5 hours of TV is also a pretty scary thing to see on the list, but I don’t think it’s really out of the ordinary for me. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but I need to ask myself if it’s really the thing which I want to do the most. On one side, I’m usually tired in the evening and I don’t feel like doing much and TV is an activity that doesn’t require any effort. On the other side, I must admit that I sometimes watch things which don’t really interest me, just for the sake of watching TV. I need to try to make a mental note to ask myself every time I start a TV show, whether that’s really the thing I want to do the most at that moment and whether there are more useful things which I might need to do first. Also, according to my day’s rating, the aspect of my life I need to work the most right now is procrastination.